Escape Toxic Self-Acceptance

Apr 15, 2025 2 Min Read
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Self-Acceptance Isn't the End

Toxic self-acceptance corrodes life. Don’t be so pleased with yourself that it justifies mediocrity.

We approve of ourselves and disapprove of others. Lopsided approval makes us thrash through life like a flat tire. Addiction to self-love becomes self-deception.

Others aren’t your biggest challenge. Self-leadership is harder than leading others.

More on self-acceptance: How to Practice Acceptance When Things are Tough

Symptoms of toxic self-acceptance:

  1. Neglecting self-development.
  2. Focusing on fixing people.
  3. Rejecting feedback.
  4. Justifying failure.

Turn toxic self-acceptance into healthy dissatisfaction.

Escape toxic self-acceptance:

1. Welcome dissatisfaction.

Step into things you don’t like about yourself. Don’t pretend everything about you is as it should be. The only person who doesn’t need growth is perfect already.

Growth means you aren’t there yet.

2. Focus on yourself.

It’s easy to see flaws in others. It’s brave to see them in yourself. Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

When others irritate you lead yourself first. Ask…

  • How might I do the same thing?
  • What does my frustration reveal about me?
  • How am I justifying myself by criticising others?
  • What blind spot in myself might I be missing?

3. Participate “with”.

You are part of the team. Critics see themselves as one above, not one of. Leaders influence from within. Standing aloof limits leadership.

Resist complacency. Reject comfort. Accept yourself and pursue your best self.

How are you seeing self-acceptance become toxic?

This article was originally published on Leadership Freak.


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Dan Rockwell is a coach and speaker and is freakishly interested in leadership. He is an author of a world-renowned leadership blog, Leadership Freak.
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