Why I Track My Acts of Kindness
Jcomp from Freepik
…And why you should too.
I’ve come to believe that kindness is gratitude in action. When we express kindness, we’re showing appreciation for the world around us and the people in it. And when we start looking for kindness, we see it everywhere: in small, simple, beautiful gestures that connect us.
Years ago, a dear friend and mentor challenged me to hold myself accountable each day with a simple checklist, a practice inspired by Benjamin Franklin. Franklin had a list of twelve virtues he aimed to live by: temperance, industry, moderation, tranquility, and (at his friend’s urging) humility. Each evening, he’d place a tiny black dot next to any virtue where he fell short, reminding him that growth is a daily practice and tomorrow is another day.
My friend encouraged me to do the same, but with a different set of questions. They included:
- Did I do my best to set clear goals today?
- Did I do my best to make progress toward those goals?
- Did I do my best to find meaning?
- Did I do my best to be happy?
- Did I do my best to build positive relationships?
Related: Learn the Simple Secret to A Meaningful Life
The key phrase is in those first five words:
“Did I do my best?”
Not “Was I perfect?” But ”Did I try?"
Over time, I’ve added my own questions to the list that include gratitude journaling, physical exercise, and one that’s become especially meaningful: “Did I do my best to show kindness today?”
It’s a simple but powerful goal for each day. I try to lift someone up through a small act of kindness. Sometimes that’s sharing a smile with a cashier. Sometimes it’s reaching out to a friend to let them know I’m thinking of them. What continually amazes me is how often those little gestures arrive at exactly the right moment for someone who needs them most.
At the end of each day, I open my spreadsheet and mark whether I met that goal as well as the others. It’s a small ritual, but I’ve come to realise that what feels small to me can mean something much bigger to someone else.
Let me share one example.
Source: Relineo from Freepik
One Saturday morning not long ago, I stopped by my favorite Italian deli in Kenilworth, New Jersey. (Their ravioli is so good I tell myself it counts as a spiritual experience; my doctor disagrees!) That day, I felt impressed to buy a meal for my family and one for a friend recovering from surgery. His operation hadn’t gone well, and he was feeling anxious and low. When I dropped by his house, he was alone as his wife had to run out. We chatted for a while, and I left the meal behind.
Later, his wife told me that while they loved the food, what meant the most to him was the visit, the simple fact that someone cared enough to show up. A small act of kindness made his day. And honestly, I know that feeling. I’ve been on the receiving end of that same kind of kindness, when someone checks in, remembers my family, or shows up just when I need it most. It always lifts me, too.
That little experience with the Italian dinner reminded me that kindness doesn’t have to be grand. But it should be intentional.
So this week, I encourage you to try it: one act of kindness every day. Notice how it lifts others, and how it lifts you, too.
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